Finding Your Why

I have focused all of my posts in January on Mindset Detox talking about habits and values.

I addressed Breaking the Habit Loop.

I explained how to identify your triggers and how you can change your response to gain the reward you are seeking.

And finally, I talked about Values Elicitation and how you can create awareness around your values and actually create an action plan (really habits) to ensure you are in alignment with those values.

Ultimately, showing up as the person you say you are.

But I realized, one thing is missing.

I know I talked about “your why” in each of these posts, but I didn’t ever address how you find your why and what that even means.

So, that is what I will be talking about today.

When we embark on creating change, there has to be a reason.

It’s not the ACT that we are seeking, it is the FEELING and having a deep-rooted connection that makes it important to know why you want to make the change.

This is important because change isn’t easy.

Our EGO doesn’t like change and will fight to keep you where you are, safe.

That is why you need to know WHY you are making the change.

Why you want to reach a certain goal.

Why you do what you do.

Why is it important to know your why?

It is the main, driving force for you to achieve the results you are seeking.

There is actually some science behind it and when I started learning about my why, it was helpful to understand the purpose and impact.

You may have heard of Simon Sinek.

I look at him as the “grandfather” on the subject.

He talks about the “Golden Circle” and how discovering your why adds passion to your work/goals, but the Golden Circle is a tool in the achievement of long-term success.

Everything we do, including our jobs, and even organizations operate on 3 levels:

WHAT we do.

HOW we do it.

WHY we do it.

So we know what we do.

That’s easy.

Some of us even know HOW we do it.

But not many people tap into WHY we do it.

The WHY is the purpose, the cause, the beliefs that drive us to do what we do.

Why we get out of bed each morning.

Why we work a job.

Why we started a business.

Why we want to make changes in our lives to better ourselves in every capacity.

And, no matter how much we like to admit it, we are not always rational beings.

If we were, people wouldn’t take risks and would succumb to their fears and miss out on things like falling in love, starting a business, or taking risks for growth.

But we do fall in love.

We do start businesses.

We do take those risks for growth.

Because how we FEEL about something or someone is more powerful than what we think about it or them.

And the problem with feelings is it is difficult to express them in words so we resort to using metaphors and analogies.

But if we can communicate our feelings, no matter how hard it can be, we receive huge payoffs.

So let’s get back to that concept of the Golden Circle.

The outer circle is the WHAT and that corresponds to the outer portion of the brain-the neocortex.

This part of the brain is responsible for the rational and analytical thought process.

It is also the part of the brain responsible for language.

The middle sections of the circle are the HOW and WHY that correspond with the middle section of the brain-the limbic system.

This part of the brain is responsible for our behavior and decision making.

It’s also responsible for feelings like trust and loyalty.

The limbic system differs from the neocortex because it has no capacity for language.

It’s where our “gut feelings” come from, a feeling we get about a decision we have to make that we struggle to explain.

And this sometimes makes it difficult to put those feelings into words.

But, those who do are able to inspire action in themselves and others.

And once you understand your WHY, you’ll be able to clearly articulate what drives your behavior.

You’ll be able to make more intentional choices and inspire others.

Your WHY is a statement of purpose that describes why you do what you do and live the life that you live.

Now that you have an understanding of the “science”, you can now start the process of finding your WHY.

So what results are you looking to achieve?

List out all the reasons you have for doing so.

For me, I wanted my own business focused on helping others.

So I listed out everything.

  • I want to wake up every morning without an alarm
  • I want time freedom
  • I want financial freedom
  • I want to be my own boss
  • I want to retire my husband
  • I want to pay off our home
  • I want to be able to travel
  • I want to be able to work from anywhere, on my schedule
  • I want to impact people in ways that inspire them to show up as the best versions of themselves
  • I want to leave a legacy of lives I have touched
  • I want to make a difference

I then went back through my list and read each one, closing my eyes and visualizing what my life would look like if I had these things.

In doing so, I discovered the things that resonated so deeply within me, the limbic portion of my brain perked up and gave me that “gut feeling”.

The result was my why.

The driving force behind what do, how I do it, and why I do it.

What I do:

I help women end unhealthy cycles of toxic relationships, harmful habits, and negative thought patterns so that they can live an abundant life full of energy, confidence, and fulfillment.

How I do it:

By helping these women create awareness, tackle the hard stuff through mindset work, and creating action plans full of tools they can use to achieve the results they are seeking.

Why I do it:

To create a legacy of empowered women who are clear on their purpose, confident in their decisions and actions, and free from all of the emotional pain from their traumatic experiences while creating the life they desire and deserve.

So there ya have it.

Are you ready to tap into your why?

If you would like to talk more about this, reach out to me.

I would love to know what you do and WHY you do it!

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