Get Your Financial House in Order

In my last blog post, I talked about your money mindset and how money is simply energy.

The energy you give to money is what you will get back.

If you come from a place of lack, then you will never have enough.

Creating that awareness about your beliefs about money is so important, especially when we talk about debt because your debt is a reflection of your money mindset and beliefs about money.

It is also a reflection of your life.

I bet you aren’t just in debt financially, but also in other areas of your life.

I know this because I have been there.

MY JOURNEY

During my first marriage, my husband had trouble holding down a job but had NO trouble spending all of the money.

We shared an account and he would spend so much sometimes that our mortgage payment would bounce.

He never had any regard for the things that needed to be paid when it came to what he wanted.

And worst of all, there was never any communication about what he was buying until after it was done.

This left me scrambling to figure out how to make ends meet, which in turn, caused me to rack up more debt on my credit cards.

This took a toll on my mental and physical health.

This also was the catalyst in my journey with anxiety and depression.

I had no idea that my relationship with money was so negative and had impacted me so deeply the way that it had.

So, we had to file bankruptcy and soon after that, ended up divorcing.

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

You work a job and you work hard, living paycheck to paycheck.

You want more, and so you start to stress about how you are going to get more money.

Then something happens…a big financial blow.

You then have to take out credit in order to cover the cost.

Now, your already stretched paycheck, which is barely enough to get by, has to now be allocated to pay toward your new debt.

Then, something spectacular happens…you qualify for a credit card because of the credit you took out for that financial blow.

So you get the credit card and tell yourself it’s for emergencies only.

And now, you don’t have enough money from your paycheck because you have your existing expenses and you are paying off that financial blow.

So you start using the credit card.

Now, you are so stressed and overwhelmed that you start to panic and look for other ways to earn money.

You start working another one or two jobs.

You start to feel better about your financial situation.

But now you are completely exhausted, still overwhelmed, and it’s starting to affect your mental and physical health and your relationships.

And now, you are stuck and have no idea how you are going to get out.

This was me, ladies!

I had so much debt that I actually had to file bankruptcy right before my first marriage ended.

And after that, I promised myself that I would NEVER allow myself to get to that point again.

And it took some work.

I needed to figure out a way to keep myself from repeating the same pattern.

Then, I met my new husband and I was terrified of going down that same path.

He is nothing like my first husband.

But I was still holding onto that fear.

I made it clear to him that I would never again spend my relationship fighting and worrying about my financial situation.

He was in 100% agreement so we decided that we would keep separate bank accounts but contribute equally to our household every month.

Still to this day, after 13 years, we still have our own accounts and a house account that we contribute to for the monthly bills.

We consult each other on all of the big purchases and support each other in getting the things that we want.

We don’t fight about money…EVER!

Recovering from bankruptcy was a long road but during that time I really started to work on my relationship with money.

I also learned how to create a budget because knowing how you are spending your money is a key tool in eliminating and keeping your debt under control.

I still have debt, but it is minimal.

In fact, I only have 2 credit cards and one line of credit.

Both credit cards are paid off monthly (one a personal card and one is for my business).

The line of credit has 6 months interest free for my purchases so I pay that off as quick as I can before the 6 months and ONLY use it for bigger purchases for my business such as training courses and such.

My house is the only debt I carry.

I can also contribute monthly to my 401k and my savings account.

I can confidently say that I have my financial house in order.

And I want to share with you how you can get your financial house in order which, in turn, will relieve some stress and that overwhelm.

GET YOUR FINANCIAL HOUSE IN ORDER

First things first.

You need to get clear on where your money goes and what your debt actually is.

If you are like I was, I avoided this at all costs because it would cause me so much anxiety to even think about it, so I just paid things as they came in and wished for that big money bag to drop out of the sky.

So, I created a budget and a plan.

This is my step-by-step plan:

  1. Make a list of ALL of your monthly expenses, when they are due, and how they are paid (you may have some things that recur on a credit card so include those as well).
    • This step will tell you where your money is going every month.
    • This is your budget and should be reviewed monthly.
  2. Make a list of all of your debt (this includes car notes, credit cards, loans, etc.) including the total balance, minimum due, how much you actually pay per month, and the interest rates.
  3. Write down your TAKE HOME pay. The actual money you have coming in each month.
  4. Take your monthly expenses (don’t forget gas, groceries, gym memberships, etc.) and subtract it from the money you are bringing in.
    • This tells you how much money you have leftover (don’t worry if it isn’t very much because this process does not create any added expense to you).
  5. Now, look at your monthly expenses. What can you eliminate?
    • That daily coffee run-you can make coffee at home.
    • That gym membership-you can work out at home.
    • Cable-look into more affordable streaming options.
    • How much did you eliminate? This money will be used to pay off your debt.
  6. Next, look at your debt. What can you pay off first?
    • If you have several credit cards, STOP using them. GET RID OF THEM AND CANCEL THEM! I know I had every retail credit card as well as 3 major credit cards. You don’t need these!
    • Retail credit cards tend to carry the highest interest rates so those definitely need to go first.
    • Once you start to pay these off, you will notice your mindset start to shift and you will feel a sense of control and accomplishment.
  7. Once you pay one of those off, you take THAT money and add it to the money you are paying on one of the others so that you are paying more toward one than you previously were.
    • This way you will not be paying anything more out month-to-month
    • When that next one is paid off, move the next debt item and use the TOTAL amount you were paying to pay off the previous 2 and apply to the third.
  8. Then, rinse and repeat until all of it is paid.

And that’s it!

The key here is to NOT incur more debt as you go so you MUST stop using the credit cards, lines of credit, etc. during the process.

When this is all said and done, you can now start putting the money you were paying toward your debt into savings so that you have nest egg for when the next financial blow happens and you won’t have to repeat the same cycle.

The hardest about all of this is being comfortable with feeling uncomfortable about what is really happening in your financial house.

It’s really simple, but it won’t be easy, and I am here for you.

Remember your money affirmations and your money gratitude I talked about during the entire process because this will keep you in a higher, resonating state so that you can attract everything you desire.

You need to keep that money energy flow moving in a positive direction.

If you would like some help getting your financial house in order, I am happy to help you get started.

My goal is to help you eliminate that stress and overwhelm so that you can have all of the abundance money brings.

Money Mindset-Your Relationship with Money

This post is all about MONEY and your relationship with it.

This is so important because your relationship with money is one thing that is going to determine how much money you actually have and receive.

If you don’t have the right mindset about money and you are trying like crazy to attract it, you are only going to do the opposite. PUSH IT AWAY!

Our relationship with money is something that can make us very wealthy, or keep us wishing we had more.

You need to understand. While the physical appearance of money is in paper or metal form, it is truly just energy. The energy we give to the money is the energy we are going to get in return.

If your mindset around money is coming from a place of lack, you are always going to lack money.

Here is an example: I wish I had enough money to retire from my job, but that will never happen so I am doomed to work until I die.

Wow, just saying that made me feel a ton of negative energy.

Another example: I can’t seem to earn enough money from my business so I guess that means I shut down shop and give up.

If you are someone who has this negative way of thinking about money, you are only going to be successful at repelling money.

So how do we change our mindset?

It starts with awareness and our beliefs about money.

I know for me, my beliefs about money started before I was even born because my mother had a horrible mindset around money. As I grew, I grew into that same mindset.

So in this session, we are going to explore your beliefs around money and get it all out on the table so that you can start to shift out of a place of lack and into a place of abundance!

The first thing I want you to do is a short visualization exercise.

This is going to really bring forward what your underlying subconscious thoughts are about money.

So. Get comfortable and relax.

Close your eyes and breath in through your nose, and out through your mouth.

Focus on your breath.

Start to feel the calmness entering your body.

Keep breathing.

Now, I want you to visualize money.

I want you to allow your thoughts around money to come forward.

Don’t fight them.

What thoughts and emotions are you feeling? Are they negative? Are they positive?

Keep breathing.

Now, I want you to picture those negative thoughts and feelings that are actually leaving your body.

A black cloud is releasing into the universe.

When you start to feel empty.

Now start to visualize your life as if you had all the money you desire.

What does that look like?

What does a typical day look like for you?

What clothes are you wearing?

What care are you driving?

What does your home look like?

Now, write down what came up.

What beliefs or feelings came to the surface?

If you have negative, beliefs, be sure to note them because you will be doing some reframing for homework.

Let’s talk a little bit about gratitude.

Next to love, gratitude is the utmost positive energy source you can put out there.

By showing gratitude, you are naturally operating in a higher state of consciousness and are opening up to receive.

There are several ways you can show gratitude for money.

  • Saying thank you to money every time it shows up.
  • Saying thank you for all of the things you have because of money.
  • Write a letter to money expressing gratitude and what it has brought to you and what it will bring to you.

You should practice this gratitude every day, all day. And not just with money because the more you are practicing gratitude, the easier it is for money energy to find you.

Ladies, if you would like to explore this or any other topic around mindset, book a free call with me and let’s get you from where you are to where you want to be.

Finding Your Why

I have focused all of my posts in January on Mindset Detox talking about habits and values.

I addressed Breaking the Habit Loop.

I explained how to identify your triggers and how you can change your response to gain the reward you are seeking.

And finally, I talked about Values Elicitation and how you can create awareness around your values and actually create an action plan (really habits) to ensure you are in alignment with those values.

Ultimately, showing up as the person you say you are.

But I realized, one thing is missing.

I know I talked about “your why” in each of these posts, but I didn’t ever address how you find your why and what that even means.

So, that is what I will be talking about today.

When we embark on creating change, there has to be a reason.

It’s not the ACT that we are seeking, it is the FEELING and having a deep-rooted connection that makes it important to know why you want to make the change.

This is important because change isn’t easy.

Our EGO doesn’t like change and will fight to keep you where you are, safe.

That is why you need to know WHY you are making the change.

Why you want to reach a certain goal.

Why you do what you do.

Why is it important to know your why?

It is the main, driving force for you to achieve the results you are seeking.

There is actually some science behind it and when I started learning about my why, it was helpful to understand the purpose and impact.

You may have heard of Simon Sinek.

I look at him as the “grandfather” on the subject.

He talks about the “Golden Circle” and how discovering your why adds passion to your work/goals, but the Golden Circle is a tool in the achievement of long-term success.

Everything we do, including our jobs, and even organizations operate on 3 levels:

WHAT we do.

HOW we do it.

WHY we do it.

So we know what we do.

That’s easy.

Some of us even know HOW we do it.

But not many people tap into WHY we do it.

The WHY is the purpose, the cause, the beliefs that drive us to do what we do.

Why we get out of bed each morning.

Why we work a job.

Why we started a business.

Why we want to make changes in our lives to better ourselves in every capacity.

And, no matter how much we like to admit it, we are not always rational beings.

If we were, people wouldn’t take risks and would succumb to their fears and miss out on things like falling in love, starting a business, or taking risks for growth.

But we do fall in love.

We do start businesses.

We do take those risks for growth.

Because how we FEEL about something or someone is more powerful than what we think about it or them.

And the problem with feelings is it is difficult to express them in words so we resort to using metaphors and analogies.

But if we can communicate our feelings, no matter how hard it can be, we receive huge payoffs.

So let’s get back to that concept of the Golden Circle.

The outer circle is the WHAT and that corresponds to the outer portion of the brain-the neocortex.

This part of the brain is responsible for the rational and analytical thought process.

It is also the part of the brain responsible for language.

The middle sections of the circle are the HOW and WHY that correspond with the middle section of the brain-the limbic system.

This part of the brain is responsible for our behavior and decision making.

It’s also responsible for feelings like trust and loyalty.

The limbic system differs from the neocortex because it has no capacity for language.

It’s where our “gut feelings” come from, a feeling we get about a decision we have to make that we struggle to explain.

And this sometimes makes it difficult to put those feelings into words.

But, those who do are able to inspire action in themselves and others.

And once you understand your WHY, you’ll be able to clearly articulate what drives your behavior.

You’ll be able to make more intentional choices and inspire others.

Your WHY is a statement of purpose that describes why you do what you do and live the life that you live.

Now that you have an understanding of the “science”, you can now start the process of finding your WHY.

So what results are you looking to achieve?

List out all the reasons you have for doing so.

For me, I wanted my own business focused on helping others.

So I listed out everything.

  • I want to wake up every morning without an alarm
  • I want time freedom
  • I want financial freedom
  • I want to be my own boss
  • I want to retire my husband
  • I want to pay off our home
  • I want to be able to travel
  • I want to be able to work from anywhere, on my schedule
  • I want to impact people in ways that inspire them to show up as the best versions of themselves
  • I want to leave a legacy of lives I have touched
  • I want to make a difference

I then went back through my list and read each one, closing my eyes and visualizing what my life would look like if I had these things.

In doing so, I discovered the things that resonated so deeply within me, the limbic portion of my brain perked up and gave me that “gut feeling”.

The result was my why.

The driving force behind what do, how I do it, and why I do it.

What I do:

I help women end unhealthy cycles of toxic relationships, harmful habits, and negative thought patterns so that they can live an abundant life full of energy, confidence, and fulfillment.

How I do it:

By helping these women create awareness, tackle the hard stuff through mindset work, and creating action plans full of tools they can use to achieve the results they are seeking.

Why I do it:

To create a legacy of empowered women who are clear on their purpose, confident in their decisions and actions, and free from all of the emotional pain from their traumatic experiences while creating the life they desire and deserve.

So there ya have it.

Are you ready to tap into your why?

If you would like to talk more about this, reach out to me.

I would love to know what you do and WHY you do it!

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