Our habits actually control 40-90% of our lives, meaning that if our habits are GOOD, we show up well for our lives and relationships.
If we are feeling out of control in our lives, it is a reflection of the habits we are choosing, because our habits are actually in control.
If our habits are bad, well, we just don’t show up as well.
When we aren’t showing up as the best version of ourselves because we are choosing bad habits, we tend to fall into a negative space.
Beating ourselves up and going into a self-deprecating mindset, which in turn, leads to choosing more bad habits.
You CAN change this by creating some awareness around what habits you currently have and which of those need to change.
So, how do you change habits?
Once you have an idea about what your habits are and what habits need to change, you need to find some motivation and then you need to tap into some consistency.
List out your habits and include the habits you would like to implement instead of what you are currently doing.
Your motivation is going to come from a deep-rooted “why”.
This “why” needs to be strong enough and powerful enough to keep you moving when it gets hard.
When you are going to want to fall back into those old habits.
You need to know HOW you are going to implement these changes.
There needs to be a plan in place in order to make this change.
For my health people out there, this plan may be food prep or planning.
Next, ask yourself, WHY AM I DOING THIS?
The consistency will be easy on the days that it’s easy. Where we fall into trouble is when those days are hard and we just want to shut down and give up.
Tap into that why and DO THE THING!
Turn that hard day into a less hard day by feeling a sense of accomplishment that you have overcome the hard.
Once you keep moving forward through this, the old habits will fall away and be replaced by new habits.
Do you know WHEN this change needs to be implemented?
Again, you need a plan. For my health people again, the when maybe food prep every Sunday and then actually scheduling the workouts on the calendar and maybe even mealtimes.
So let’s dig deeper into what those habits and when they show up most.
There is a bit of science around habits and once we understand the science around habits, the easier it will be to change.
There is this idea of a HABIT LOOP and it contains 3 different stages.
The Cue → The Routine → The Reward
The cue is the trigger or the thing that causes the unconscious behavior.
The routine is the activity or the thing you do after you are triggered.
The reward is the end result or the thing you actually craved when you were triggered.
You can eliminate the triggers and you will ALWAYS need rewards but you can CHANGE the routine.
The activity you do after you are triggered.
So when do we get triggered?
In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg says that there are five categories for things that trigger us:
- Location
- Time
- Emotional State
- Other People
- The Immediately Preceding Action (The thing that happened last)
So now we have created some awareness around the Habit Loop and the things that trigger us.
Let’s talk about getting unstuck from that habit loop.
Once you know what habits you turn to and what triggers you, you need to make that plan.
What are some things you can do to REPLACE that habit?
It may take a few tries to find something that resonates with you so that you can create some consistency.
But the goal is to keep trying and once you do find it and you are consistent, your new response and action become a habit.
Ask yourself:
When does the trigger show up in your life?
What routine do you want to change?
Get clear with this because you want to find a replacement routine that will give you the same reward.
Creating that consistency can be done by looking at your keystone habits.
Keystone habits are habits that create a rippling effect or “chain reaction”.
These can be anything such as exercise, planning, bedtimes, making your bed every day.
Some of my keystone habits are:
- Writing my 10 gratitudes every morning
- Not looking at anything electronic (including the TV or my phone) for one hour after waking up
- Moving my body every day for 30 minutes
- Making my bed
Something simple like making my bed every day gives me a sense of accomplishment and success and sets me up for a chain reaction of success for the rest of the day.
A solid morning routine is an essential use of these keystone habits and creating that ripple effect.
Lastly, aligning your habits with your personal values is essential to your success.
This will eliminate conflict within yourself and automatically eliminate any negative feelings about your habits.
So let’s recap.
First, create that awareness.
What are your habits and what habits do you need to change?
List them out. Include what new habit you would like to have in place instead.
How are you going to change those habits?
You need to have a plan in place.
Why are you doing this?
Tap into your why because this is the thing that will motivate you to keep moving when things get hard.
When are you going to make this change?
Identify those triggers!
Now, you are ready to start breaking that habit loop!
