Change is necessary. Change can be scary. Many of us fear change. I know this because I used to fear change for a long time and still do from time to time. The fear comes from the unknown and uncertainty of what is to come. Change often occurs because of an event that has happened or something that needs to be different. There are many different types of change. In the end…change is inevitable. We need change. We need change in order to grow, to improve, and to move past certain behaviors and feelings.
I have gone through many changes over the past 12 months. Some of the changes were out of my control. Some were made because of choices I had to make. Some of my changes were my best-friend moved to far away to another state, my husband and I purchased our first home together in the country, my sister and nephew moved to another state, my self-work of coming to terms with my spirit, and many other little changes in between.
A very significant recent change I have made is leaving my job. I am sharing this with you because I know many of you have been and probably are in a similar situation. I worked for an amazing company, but it is was time for me to leave. I was slowly losing “me” in my work. Sacrificing way too many hours trying to make it all work. I was starting to have serious anxiety and depression, which presented itself as anger, illness, and frustration. Having been here many times before, I promised myself long ago that I would never let myself get to this point again. The culture, the people, and the overall company were amazing so why in the world did I feel the need to make the change? First of all, I have been doing a ton of work on myself over the past 6 months. I have been doing some serious soul searching about my life and where I want to be. I can honestly say, I am firm in my discovery that I was meant for something greater than being a staff accountant and in order to realize my destiny, I needed to free up “my” time so that I could focus on the things that were important. I still need to work a job, but I need job that allows me to come in, do my best, feel good about what I have contributed, and leave the work at work where it belongs. I had lost “my” time and part of that was this blog. The other being my coaching practice, which I am in the process of rebuilding. I was meant to help others and now was the time to make the transition, even though I wasn’t ready in my mind, my spirit was SO ready. I quit my job without having another one, which was very scary, but I embraced the fear, and searched until I landed another position which will be exactly what I need and will allow me to have “my” time to continue my work in helping others. I am not in a position yet to leave the world of accounting, but I know that I am where I need to be right now.
Leaving my job is the perfect example of a change that needed to happen. From the outside, it appeared perfect, but from the inside, I was slowly withering away. Instead of crumbling and falling into the darkness that was quickly overtaking me, I decided to make the change. I decided to take control of the outcome and embrace what needed to happen.
Choosing to make change is a little easier to stomach in the end than change that is not welcomed or is unforeseen. Sometimes, making the decision to make the change is every bit as difficult as the actual change. This was the case for me when I decided to make my exit. I needed to make the change NOW so that I could begin the transition process and make room for all of the new possibilities to flood in. So, how did I get to the place where I could actually embrace this change? I dug deep. I weighed my outcome. I knew that I could stay, but I would have just been miserable, and in turn, unintentionally making those miserable around me. I was already suffering from depression and anxiety which, in turn, made it next to impossible to find the energy to do what I loved in the small amount of time I had in between work hours. I wrote in my journal, I meditated, and I tapped into my daily affirmations. I visualized what I needed as if I already had it. I was sad to leave the people who were truly family and I was afraid of where I would go next, but I knew I was headed in the right direction. I didn’t allow my fear of change to take over. I also had the support I needed. Support from friends and family. Support from my co-workers and boss. Support from a loving husband who believed in me.
In the end, I am right where I need to be. I am taking the next step in my journey of life. I am happy with my choices. I am excited for new things to come. I am excited to have the time to start building my practice again and helping others. This would not be the case if I hadn’t embraced the change that I needed to make.
