love |

May 5, 2020May 5, 2020

Needs

The topic for this blog post is needs and how we meet them.

I want you to sit for a minute and really think about what you NEED. Don’t think about what you think everyone needs from you.

This is all about YOUR needs.

And this is how you satisfy those needs.

I can honestly tell you, I have several needs.

I need my morning routine.

I need to move my body every day.

I need human interaction.

I need to be able to give back to the world and leave a positive impact.

I need my outdoor time with nature.

I need music.

I need to keep growing and learning.

So how do I meet these needs?

All human beings have needs that need to be met and we all have various needs that we satisfy in many different ways.

Sometimes in negative ways and sometimes in positive ways.

When I did my coach certification training, I was introduced to the concept of the 6 Human Needs from Tony Robbins.

I want to share this now with you.

Although I am going to talk about YOUR needs today, know that through understanding your needs and how they are met will only help you understand others’ needs so that you can really transform your experience of living and being in a relationship with others.

As I go through the 6 Human Needs, I want you to think about the needs you have and where they fall into these categories.

I also want you to think about how you are meeting these needs.

I know that all of the needs I shared fall into these categories one or more of these categories.

The Six Needs:

Certainty: safe, homey, secure, sure of everything, in control, being taken care of

Uncertainty/Variety: excitement, unexpectedness, spontaneous, creative, flowing, free

Significance: Important, special, worthwhile, acknowledged

Love/Connection: Caring, passionate, warmth, belonging, synchronized, adored

Growth: changing, developing, pursuing new goals, education, meeting new people (if we don’t satisfy this need, we die)

Contribution: expanding, giving, making things better, selfless action, being part of group one adds to, being part of tradition one helps to develop

For me, my needs fall into these categories and how they are met:

My morning routine satisfies my need for Certainty because it’s consistent and happens every day.

Move my body every day definitely satisfies my need for Love/Connection of myself. I meet this need by making sure I move my body every day for at least 30 minutes.

Human interaction satisfies my need for Love/Connection and I meet that need with my coaching & mentoring practice and staying connected (Zoom & Skype in this time) with friends and family.

Giving back to the world and leaving a positive impact satisfies my need for Contribution and I meet that need with my coaching and also being a volunteer Tai Chi instructor. This also satisfies my need for Significance because I feel like I am an important, positive influence on others.

My outdoor time with nature satisfies my need Growth and specifically on the spiritual side. I meet this need by getting outside as often as I can to run, sit in the sun, and even shovel snow during the winter. Camping is one of my favorite ways to satisfy this need and I do that as often as I can. Living in the country also helps.

Music also satisfies my need for Growth and again on the spiritual side. It comes from so deep inside me. I meet this need by always listening to music, especially the 80’s genre. I am known to host my own private dance parties around the house! I just can’t help myself.

My need to keep growing and learning satisfies my need for Growth and I do this by reading at least 10 minutes every day, listening to podcasts, listening to self-help/improvement books on Audible, and constantly participating in online training and classes.

As I was going through the list did any one of these needs really resonate within your body? Is there one that stands out more prominent? What is it? How are you satisfying your needs?

So now I encourage you to really look at what you NEED.

Make that list. Then go through and see how you are meeting those needs.

If you aren’t meeting your needs, find a way to get them met ASAP.

Do you want more information on how this works or anything else you are working on in your life? Book a free 30-minute breakthrough call with me and let’s look at where you are and how you can get to where you want to be!

Click here to schedule YOUR breakthrough call!

August 11, 2019August 11, 2019

You Are Worthy!

Have you ever wanted something so bad but can’t get it because your inner voice tells you that you can’t have it? Do you have desires beyond what you are doing now and don’t feel you can get there? Do you often tell yourself that you don’t deserve it or you are not worthy?

I am sitting here on this beautiful Sunday morning relaxing with my coffee, looking out to all of the openness of the 36 acres we live on, and feeling immense gratitude for the life I am now living. I am grateful for the things I have. But I am even more grateful for the journey that brought me here.

I have always wanted a life, partnered with someone that shares my dreams, someone that can support me and I can support him while we work together for everything we desire. I have always wanted a life that provides a loving and open home that I consider my safe sanctuary, not only for me, but for those I love, to be able to come to during times of need.

I have all of that now and more! It took some time and many lessons over 45 years of life to get here. Why did it take so long? It’s a simple concept. I didn’t believe I deserved it. I wanted it so badly. I tried to get there so many times. When I look back, I can see that I had many things to learn. The most important lesson was learning how to receive and to fully believe that I was worthy of my desires.

I have spent the better part of 20 years working on me and taking the self-help journey. I completely believed and understood the fundamentals, but I was missing one thing in the big picture. One thing that sounds so simple but can be the most difficult to obtain.

Our stories tell us so many things. Some truths, some lies. This is the make up of our beliefs. Sometimes, our truths are buried so far down that the lies start to become our truth, and believing the lies is sometimes easier than finding our truth. We find comfort in the lies because they have been a huge part of what we become and fear holds us back when we try to step out of that comfort, causing us to retreat back to the lies. It’s a vicious cycle, but the cycle can be broken.

When I finally figured it out, I was desperate to figure out a way to change it. I wanted to believe that I am worthy. That I deserved everything that I desired. It wasn’t, and still isn’t easy. But I work at it every day. The next fulfilling desire for me? To be independently wealthy enough to commit the rest of my life to helping others create better versions of themselves and have everything they desire. I know that I will have this, because really, it’s already here. I just have to believe that I deserve it and get ready to receive.

Think about your desires. Think about how you truly feel about them. Now think about all of the thoughts surrounding those desires. Are those thoughts truth or lies? Are you telling yourself that you are deserving and worthy of receiving? Now close your eyes and breath. Visualize your desires. Visualize what your life looks like, as you already have everything you desire. Tap into the feelings. Feel the joy and the happiness surrounding your life. This, my friends, is the first step in receiving. Practice this every day, several times a day. Write about it. Talk about it. Every time a lie surrounding those desires creeps in, immediately visualize your new life. Add some affirmations around your new life, but be sure to say them and write them AS IF THAT LIFE IS ALREADY HERE. This will bring it into the present and fast track you to everything you desire. I believe in you. You are worthy. You deserve everything you desire!

August 4, 2019August 4, 2019

Relationships

Just a quick note about relationships: Relationships are important. Relationships are necessary. Relationships should also be healthy and based on open trust and communication, although, some relationships can be difficult, even toxic. We deal with all types of relationships every day. The important thing to remember about relationships is to always maintain honesty and respect, not only for others, but for yourself. If you don’t have that, the relationship will never survive.

I was raised in an environment where the only healthy relationships that existed for me were with my father and his side of the family. Unfortunately, I only had time with them every other weekend until I was in 8th grade, but it was enough to establish a base line for my later years when I was FINALLY able to rid myself of toxic relationships and really cherish the ones that serve me. I realized that I needed to let go of expectations and that I cannot control another person’s feelings or reactions. And most importantly, I learned to let go of the toxic relationships that did not serve me. It was difficult to let some of those relationships go, but it was also very empowering.

I have recently done some reflection on my relationships and how I interact with others. I am learning that as I continue to grow in love, my relationships are growing in love too. I can honestly say that I am incredibly blessed to have healthy, successful relationships in my life.

If you find yourself caught up in a difficult relationship or a relationship that isn’t going the way you planned, you need to check in with yourself. Do you have open, honest communication with this person? Do you have expectations of this person that have not been expressed? Do you look to change something about this person? Is the relationship serving you or do you spend more time fighting and trying to find happiness within the relationship?

When you create a relationship with someone, remember that it is two sided, a give and take, so if you want to have a good relationship, you need to nurture that relationship with love, honesty, openness, and communication. We often place all kinds of expectations on the people we have relationships with and those expectations tend to backfire because they are often not communicated to the other person, therefore turning a two way relationship into a one-sided, uphill battle.

One last thing…we were not put on this earth to change people. It is not our job to judge or decide how someone should live. We were put here for a ton of different reasons with a few of them being kindness, acceptance, and love. If a relationship just does not work, walk away and focus all of that energy into something good. Stop wasting your energy on something that will never be. As hard as it is to walk away, it is even harder to stay in an unhealthy relationship. Remember, your relationship will mirror what you are putting into it. If there is no trust, honesty, and love, then chances are, you don’t see those things in yourself. Look inside yourself and take this as an opportunity to focus on you and improve your life. I believe in you!

July 25, 2019July 25, 2019

Self Forgiveness-Revisited

This is my second blog ever so I thought it was a good one to share with you. It has been many years since this was written, and I have come a long way, but by no means am I an expert yet. Self forgiveness is a process and one YOU can start to master all on your own. Healing is an important part of the journey and it always has to start with you.

Have you ever intentionally or unintentionally regretted doing or saying something and then continued to “beat yourself up” over and over again? I think it is fair to say that we are all guilty of this. I also know that this can cause great trauma to our spirits and emotions, causing the trauma to be so severe that it derails and even debilitates our lives. We re-live the action or conversation and continually try to find ways that we could have handled it better. This causes a negative thought process to begin and the spiral continues. Pretty soon we are so consumed by the negative thoughts that depression and/or illness start to set in and we try and find ways to deal with the depression and/or illness when we should try and find the root cause and start working on a little thing called “self forgiveness”.

I have been working daily on my own self forgiveness. There are situations and choices I have had to make in my life that have, for good or bad, affected other people in hurtful ways. I do not mean the hurtful ways were created from my anger or out of malice. I am, after all, human and we are all guilty of hurting out of anger or malice. As difficult as it is, the most painful hurts I have created were caused by choices I needed to make to better myself and stop my own hurt. There is a ton of guilt about being selfish and not caring that the choice may hurt someone else. Unfortunately, my upbringing instilled a lot of the unhealthy values and thought processes that I am trying to deprogram along with working on my self forgiveness. I never really had a childhood, constantly having to put my life aside to be the adult at a very early age. In that, I always put everyone else first, mothering, nurturing, teaching, and surviving for everyone else but me. Now, as an adult, I struggle every day with setting boundaries and saying no to protect myself from any further spiritual and emotional damage. Along with all that comes the guilt and in steps my attempts at self forgiveness. This is is how I manage to work on it every day:

Think about the choice to be made. Is it truly a choice that will better ME or am I truly making the choice out of anger or malice? Chances are, these kind of choices are being made because of a very unbalanced and unhealthy environment or situation. If you are programmed as a caretaker/enabler the way that I am, this is where the self hate and hurt begin.

What has led up to this choice? Has it been a path of unhealthy self destruction? If yes, then make a change-no matter who it will hurt, but try and do it as gracefully, FOR YOURSELF, as possible. At the end of the day, this is a necessary choice to save YOU!

When making the change, try and stay out of the negative. Find your positive and what good will come from the choice you are making-no matter how small. Once you find one positive, more will follow. We naturally want to be in a positive state of mind, we just get in our own way and allow the negatives to take over. You will see…the law of attraction will snow ball from everything you are thinking and the intentions you are putting out to the universe, so keep the positives coming!

Once you have started the positive thought process, you need to start the self forgiveness.

Acknowledge that you allowed yourself to stay in the situation that you are in-either from old programming, guilt, self destruction, self punishment, etc. Then, tell yourself that it IS OK. You had yet another lesson to learn from this life.

Now, acknowledge that you may hurt or anger people in the choice you are making. It is ok. You cannot protect everyone-you need to protect YOURSELF. If you are coming from a place of love and warmth while making the choice, or even if you come from anger, others are going to CHOOSE to react the way that they do and their reactions are not your responsibility. You cannot control the reactions from others.

Once you have acknowledged the situation that has caused you make this choice and acknowledged the hurt and anger it may cause others, start telling yourself “I forgive myself” and immediately start thinking of your positives and why you POSITIVELY are making the choice. I find this the most difficult. Someone very dear to me gave me forgiveness affirmations to do every day, which I do. However, the most difficult part is saying them while looking at myself in the mirror. This goes back to actually deprogramming all the pain and hurt and trying to believe that I am truly forgiven. I work on it every day.

Yes, all this seems like a lot of work and, in the beginning, it truly is. I am, however, finding it gets a bit easier every day if I use the tools and actually work the process. Again, the law of attraction and positive thinking along with the affirmations make it easier to get to the point of self forgiveness.

Try these affirmations first thing in the morning, saying them out loud (eventually looking in the mirror) and see how you feel as you say them. Really pay attention to how your body and feelings resonate with what you are saying. Take your time and FEEL.

“I forgive myself for judging my feelings.”

“I forgive myself for becoming upset and moving out of my center.”

“I forgive myself for the mistakes I have made, the mistakes I am making, and the mistakes I will make.”

“I forgive myself for judging myself as unworthy.”

“I am a radiant being filled with light and love.”

Until next time, forgive and be kind to yourself!

July 11, 2019July 11, 2019

Gratitude

As I was driving into work this morning, I was looking around at my view. It was nice and bright, I was driving west so I could see our beautiful Rocky Mountains, and all around me was country (except for the other drivers with me on the highway) and I got this overwhelming feeling of gratitude. I was grateful for my home, my life, and the beautiful day ahead. A feeling warmth started in the pit of my stomach and traveled through my heart making it feel open and full, and then traveled through the top of my head. I felt calm, peaceful, and present.

I then started to say my affirmations, and remembered an email I received this morning notifying me that I had another connection join one of my business streams. I immediately started to feel grateful again. I was grateful for the connection and I was extremely grateful that I am helping another person save and earn extra money. The feeling started in the pit of my stomach again, but was much faster in reaching the top of my head.

People talk about gratitude all of the time, but I always wonder if they actually FEEL it. I know I have days that I say I am grateful in a sense of “faking it until I make it”, because I may just be having an off day and need something to keep me present, but I know that feeling I am looking for. Today was proof of that. It was a reminder that this beautiful life, no matter where we are, is giving us everything we need, right now.

I practice gratitude every day, throughout the entire day. I not only say/think about what I am grateful for, but slow down and actually FEEL the feelings in my body. From this, I experience feelings of joy and happiness that I know are genuine. I then start to feel love. Love for others, and most of all, love for myself. Could you imagine if everyone on this planet could generate this love? What a different world we would live in.

Practicing gratitude is so simple. Expressing gratitude to others, for others, and for all things in world should be a part of everyone’s daily routines. Resonating at one’s truest, highest self can improve daily life for everyone. Start with the little things. Open your eyes in the morning and say “I am grateful for this day” and then “I am grateful to have a job”. Keep doing that throughout your day and just see what transpires in your body and how your day turns out. Your mood will improve, your energy will improve, and you will feel absolutely wonderful. I challenge you to try it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!

And as I type this, I realized that I was in such a rush this morning that I walked out the door without my delicious breakfast smoothie…now, I am grateful for the back-up protein shake I have in my drawer for breakfast! Hey, even being grateful for the little things can make a day brighter and lighter!