growth |

January 6, 2021January 6, 2021

What Is Mindset Detox?

Today I am going to answer the question, what is mindset detox?

But before I do, I want to share with you why it’s necessary and share with you a little about my story.

I was 5 when my parents divorced and this one event changed the course of my life in ways a child of 5 could even imagine.

It caused a series of events to transpire that no child should have ever had to experience.

My life became a statistic.

I fell victim to poverty, neglect, physical and emotional abuse, and addiction.

This, in turn, contributed to a very toxic and destructive mindset.

I had abandonment issues.

I had trust issues, both in myself and of others.

I never thought that I was good enough.

I never thought that I could be successful because I didn’t receive the encouragement I needed.

I grew up long before I should have.

I was co-dependent.

I was an enabler.

I became the caretaker of my younger brother AND my mother.

All before the age of 13.

As an adult, I suffered from anxiety, depression, control issues, self-destructive behaviors, and more.

I had ZERO confidence.

I was so afraid of everything, especially what others thought of me and my situation.

This rolled into every relationship I had.

I didn’t have the framework of a healthy relationship, so my behaviors stayed the same.

And I kept reliving the same traumas I had experienced as a child within those relationships.

I felt stuck in a life that I knew was no longer mine.

It affected every aspect of what I was trying to accomplish:

Healthy relationships.

Job/career growth.

Business growth.

Why???

Because I didn’t have the awareness of what needed to change and kept falling back on the same habits, thought patterns, and behaviors, and this went on for YEARS!

One thing that DIDN’T happen…I didn’t adopt my mother’s victim mindset so I had that going for me.

I fought, and I fought hard and I believe that this was the driving force behind where I am today and why I am so passionate about helping others on their journey.

But I didn’t step into my power until much later.

It was actually in my late 30’s (I am now 47) when I started to TRULY find that power.

Yes, I was a victim.

But that was not my identity.

I knew deep down inside that I needed to make changes…but how?

This is where mindset detox comes in.

Detox is “a process or period of time in which one abstains from or rids the body of toxic or unhealthy substances; detoxification.”

Mindset detox is literally that:

Detoxing those thought patterns, habits, and behaviors.

But to do that, there needs to be AWARENESS of what those things are.

During the detox, you take a good look at what those habits are that are keeping you where you are and no longer serving you.

You can examine your beliefs and actually change those beliefs to align with who you are TODAY.

Also encompassed in all of that is learning to change your perspective based on your past experiences so that those past experiences actually contribute in a positive manner to your mindset.

Your perspective is how you see the world based on those past experiences and mindset is what you THINK about what you see.

Once you identify where the change needs to happen and actually take action to make the changes, you start to eliminate the self-sabotage the always seems to creap in and derail your efforts.

You gain the courage and confidence within yourself and realize that what other people think of you doesn’t matter because you are in your truth and aligned with who you are.

You get to rewrite that story!

So you now you understand what is being detoxed, I will share with you how you actually start to create this awareness.

You can do some journaling around some questions to find that awareness.

Ask yourself:

What is it that needs to change?

Why do I need to make this change?

What feeling am I after in making this change?

What steps do I need to take to get there?

Am I willing to get uncomfortable in order to make these changes?

I have to tell you that with change comes discomfort but that is where the growth happens!

Now, look at your habits and behaviors:

What do you currently do when things are difficult?

When did you adopt these habits and behaviors?

What triggers these habits and behaviors?

What self-talk do you engage in? In other words, what story are you telling yourself?

Next, create a plan:

What habit or behavior do you WANT to adopt to replace those that no longer serve you?

What story do you want to tell and is it in alignment with who you say you are?

You see, you don’t have to stay stuck. You have a choice to make a change.

The question is, are you ready?

This is what mindset detox is all about.

Creating the awareness of what needs to change, making the changes, and rewriting your story so that you are in alignment with who you say you are.

And this is where LASTING change happens.

This isn’t a quick, temporary fix for the pain you are feeling now.

This is work and it’s a journey of self-awareness and stepping into your power.

You are an amazing, beautiful soul who deserves everything you desire in this life and I want that for you!

Want to go deeper into the detox?

I can help you!

This month in my Women Taking Action for Change private community, I will be talking about all things Mindset Detox! Click here to join!

July 21, 2020July 21, 2020

Perspective vs Mindset

Today I want to talk about perspective vs. mindset.

Let’s first look at what perspective is.

Perspective is the way you see the world around you.

We gain our perspective from our past experiences.

Each person will have their own perspective about things based on past experiences.

Let’s take the idea of building a business during a pandemic.

My perspective is that NOW is the time to start building a business.

This is based on MY past experience of knowing things are hard.

Things will always be hard during difficult times.

But I don’t believe that anyone should shy away from adversity and growth because my truth is that I always succeed even when things are hard and so can you.

Someone else may say now is NOT the time to build a business because their past experience has been that they have tried during hard times and have failed, so they gave up and won’t even try.

Let’s create some awareness around your perspective.

Think about a situation that is happening now.

What is YOUR perspective?

Ask yourself these questions:

How you feel now and have you felt like this before?

What has made you feel this way in the past and how is it affecting you TODAY?

Now, mindset, on the other hand, is what we THINK about what we see.

There are two kinds of mindset.

Fixed and growth.

A fixed mindset is based on thinking you already have all that you need and that is all you are going to get.

A growth mindset is based on the belief that there is always a way to do or get more.

Having a fixed mindset means that you don’t always see different perspectives where, having a growth mindset, you see many perspectives.

Knowing this, what is keeping you from having the mindset you want?

It’s the “what ifs”.

Let’s take the starting a business example.

Someone with a fixed mindset’s “what ifs”

What if I don’t make any money?
What if I don’t have any clients or customers?
What if I go all in and lose everything?
What if I fail?

Someone with a growth mindset’s “what ifs”:

What if I make enough money to afford everything I need and can quit my j.o.b.?
What if I have so many clients or customers that I have to put them on a waiting list?
What if I go all in and grow so fast that I have to hire help?
What if I succeed?

As you can see, having a fixed mindset really limits your ability to achieve anything.

Now, if you are comfortable with where you are and you don’t have any goals you are trying to reach, having a fixed mindset is fine.

But, also know that if you don’t grow, you will die.

There should always be places in your life where you are aspiring to grow.

But with growth comes change and most people with a fixed mindset fear change.

And that fear is based on the unknown, things that haven’t happened yet.

So much of what we fear is NOT going to happen, and in fact, focusing on so much fear can cause you to manifest it happening.

So be very careful here.

People with a growth mindset embrace fear.

They also embrace failure because they know that when they fail, they GROW!

This is because they fail, pick themselves back up and go again taking what they have learned and applying it to the next time.

They also know that comfort is the casualty of fear and growth so they get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

So I encourage you to take a look at your perspective.

Do you have the mindset you want?

If you have a fixed mindset, where are you going to aspire to grow in your life so that you don’t stay stagnate?

If you have a growth mindset, what are you working on now?

Where are you headed?

If you are looking to start a business, let me know. My 90-Day Courage to Launch program may be a fit for you.

We do a ton of work around mindset so that you can be ready for growth!

As always, if you would like to talk more about this or any other topic, book a call with me.

The link to my calendar is here.

May 5, 2020May 5, 2020

Needs

The topic for this blog post is needs and how we meet them.

I want you to sit for a minute and really think about what you NEED. Don’t think about what you think everyone needs from you.

This is all about YOUR needs.

And this is how you satisfy those needs.

I can honestly tell you, I have several needs.

I need my morning routine.

I need to move my body every day.

I need human interaction.

I need to be able to give back to the world and leave a positive impact.

I need my outdoor time with nature.

I need music.

I need to keep growing and learning.

So how do I meet these needs?

All human beings have needs that need to be met and we all have various needs that we satisfy in many different ways.

Sometimes in negative ways and sometimes in positive ways.

When I did my coach certification training, I was introduced to the concept of the 6 Human Needs from Tony Robbins.

I want to share this now with you.

Although I am going to talk about YOUR needs today, know that through understanding your needs and how they are met will only help you understand others’ needs so that you can really transform your experience of living and being in a relationship with others.

As I go through the 6 Human Needs, I want you to think about the needs you have and where they fall into these categories.

I also want you to think about how you are meeting these needs.

I know that all of the needs I shared fall into these categories one or more of these categories.

The Six Needs:

Certainty: safe, homey, secure, sure of everything, in control, being taken care of

Uncertainty/Variety: excitement, unexpectedness, spontaneous, creative, flowing, free

Significance: Important, special, worthwhile, acknowledged

Love/Connection: Caring, passionate, warmth, belonging, synchronized, adored

Growth: changing, developing, pursuing new goals, education, meeting new people (if we don’t satisfy this need, we die)

Contribution: expanding, giving, making things better, selfless action, being part of group one adds to, being part of tradition one helps to develop

For me, my needs fall into these categories and how they are met:

My morning routine satisfies my need for Certainty because it’s consistent and happens every day.

Move my body every day definitely satisfies my need for Love/Connection of myself. I meet this need by making sure I move my body every day for at least 30 minutes.

Human interaction satisfies my need for Love/Connection and I meet that need with my coaching & mentoring practice and staying connected (Zoom & Skype in this time) with friends and family.

Giving back to the world and leaving a positive impact satisfies my need for Contribution and I meet that need with my coaching and also being a volunteer Tai Chi instructor. This also satisfies my need for Significance because I feel like I am an important, positive influence on others.

My outdoor time with nature satisfies my need Growth and specifically on the spiritual side. I meet this need by getting outside as often as I can to run, sit in the sun, and even shovel snow during the winter. Camping is one of my favorite ways to satisfy this need and I do that as often as I can. Living in the country also helps.

Music also satisfies my need for Growth and again on the spiritual side. It comes from so deep inside me. I meet this need by always listening to music, especially the 80’s genre. I am known to host my own private dance parties around the house! I just can’t help myself.

My need to keep growing and learning satisfies my need for Growth and I do this by reading at least 10 minutes every day, listening to podcasts, listening to self-help/improvement books on Audible, and constantly participating in online training and classes.

As I was going through the list did any one of these needs really resonate within your body? Is there one that stands out more prominent? What is it? How are you satisfying your needs?

So now I encourage you to really look at what you NEED.

Make that list. Then go through and see how you are meeting those needs.

If you aren’t meeting your needs, find a way to get them met ASAP.

Do you want more information on how this works or anything else you are working on in your life? Book a free 30-minute breakthrough call with me and let’s look at where you are and how you can get to where you want to be!

Click here to schedule YOUR breakthrough call!