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June 23, 2020June 23, 2020

Choosing Your Tribe

Do you have a dream or a goal you are shooting to achieve?

Are you SOOO excited because achieving that dream or goal could LITERALLY change your life?

Do you have people around you that are excited for you and supportive of you, NO MATTER WHAT?

How about that same support for everything you do?

Is your spouse supportive of your efforts? How about your parents?

As much as I would like to say yes, that is the case for most of us, it, unfortunately, is not.

When we launch something big or even do something that WE want to do that falls outside of the expectations of our loved ones, we generally do not have the support of those closest to us.

Why is that?

Well, if you are embarking on something so big that will not only change YOUR life but theirs as well, they may experience fear. And we all know how fear can dictate EVERYTHING!

There could also be a lack of understanding. If you have kept a dream or goal to yourself, like starting a business, and then suddenly come home and announce that you are quitting your job and going all-in on your business, it can be quite alarming to your family.

Especially if they depend on your stable income. This could be a shock and with no other conversation around it, it can cause some issues.

We have all types of relationships in our lives that influence our decisions.

I have talked to so many women that are not even TRYING to shoot for their dreams because of what the family, husband, or friends might think.

I also have talked to women that have tried and given up because they did not have the support they needed.

It is so important to have support because change is hard.

Part of this change is learning how to set boundaries.

Mel Robbins said:

“Boundaries are the courage you need to put yourself 1st. They are the fence around the yard called your life.”

She also said (and I LOVE this one):

“Boundaries are the no trespassing sign between where you end and someone else begins. They make you treat people how you want to be treated.”

Take a look at your “tribe”. The people you spend the most time with. Are these people supportive of you? Do they encourage you?

Or do they break you down and make you feel bad? Do they discourage you from going after your dreams?

Seriously, take a look because you will only be as good as those you surround yourself with.

If you are wanting to go after a dream or achieve a goal and nobody supports you, the chances of you succeeding are slim to none.

You are worth more than that so it’s time to thin the herd.

Now, I am not saying that you need to get a divorce or cut all of your friends and family out of your life.

As long as these folks aren’t toxic, then they can stay. You just should not turn to them for support.

Set your boundaries. Set them for yourself so that you won’t have any expectations from these folks. If they get on board, cool. If not, move past it.

Set boundaries so that they do not badmouth you or your dream. Don’t allow them to tear you down.

Remember, when you are trying to do something “out of the box”, non-traditional, or something different, the people closest to you are afraid for you.

They are afraid of your failure.

And they are afraid of your success.

So one of my experiences is (and you can probably identify with this) were my several network marketing endeavors.

I have been with a handful of companies. It was NEVER easy for me because my family was always poor and didn’t believe in any alternative ways to make money other than working. Sometimes working more than one job.

When I discovered network marketing, I thought I had hit gold as we all do. The problem was, I didn’t have enough belief in myself that I could actually be successful so I would quit.

I would look to my family and then eventually friends for support but only got negative judgment and no support at all. So I would quit.

I would go back to working more than one job.

And the next opportunity would show up and off I would run excited right back into the same non-supporting environment.

I REALLY wanted to be financially free and have time freedom.

And I REALLY wanted to help people.

But I couldn’t get out of my own way.

My dream was not bigger than the people I depended on and their opinions.

Fast forward to now…I decided I needed to take this journey to become a Transformation Success Coach.

Now was the time.

I had the full support of my husband, but, it is still difficult because he doesn’t quite get it.

But he is learning and he is trying.

My friends have been 100% supportive.

My older generation family members are still not quite sure what I do and how I can make a living at it because, well, we will just chalk it up to the “old school” mentality.

So what’s different now?

My friend base has changed a bit.

I no longer surround myself with those that were not supportive and only gave me negative judgment.

I realized it wasn’t just about what my dream was, they were like that no matter what was going on.

People who love you get REALLY uncomfortable with change and growth because they may not be ready to walk alongside you.

And that’s ok!

It has nothing to do with me so I now limit my exposure.

I don’t talk too much about what I do around my family.

If they ask, I give them a brief update.

If they start spinning off onto a tangent of negativity or misunderstanding, I don’t waste energy explaining.

I just politely say this is what I am doing, I love, and I am good at it.

That usually ends the conversation…until the next time and I say it all again.

I am now connecting with like-minded women.

Due to the amazing ability of connection through social media platforms, I am able to connect and support and receive support from women who are just like me.

In return, we lift each other up and encourage each other on our journeys.

Doing these things has really helped my mindset and the belief I have in myself.

I encourage you to take a look at your tribe.

See who fits and who doesn’t and start surrounding yourself with those who support your dreams.

Find mentors or a community of like-minded people who will inspire you, encourage you, hold you accountable, and challenge you.

If you are the smartest person in the room, you need a new tribe.

If you are the most positive person in the room, you need a new tribe.

If you are reaching for big dreams and working on goals to get there and your circle is content with mediocrity and comfort, you need a new tribe.

I am here to help!

If you are ready to take the steps to grow, learn, strive, and thrive, contact me!

I have a new program specifically for ladies wanting to start or grow their own businesses and who are ready to LAUNCH where we work on mindset mastery and actionable strategies without all of the fancy websites, followings, and click funnels.

I also still have my program for ladies who want to grow and step into their power of financial, spiritual, and emotional strength but may not be looking at the business aspect.

Either way, I have a solution for you!

Don’t let the investment in yourself be a hindrance to your success!

But you have to contact me so that we can look at where you are and find a solution to get you to where you want to be. Click on my calendar link and let’s get started!

http://bit.ly/TiffenysBreakthroughCall

February 19, 2020February 19, 2020

Shift Your Mindset and Let Go of Beliefs

Are you struggling with something in your life that is holding you back from moving forward? Do you want to change something about your life but just don’t know how?

Check your thoughts.

Are you stuck in a loop of negative self-talk and beliefs that no longer serve you? Do you have big dreams but “something,” tells you that you can’t ever achieve them because you aren’t worthy, you don’t have the experience, you don’t have the money…etc.?

How’s your mindset?

Mindset plays into everything we do or want to do in life. Here is why…Every ACTION is because of a FEELING and every FEELING is because of a THOUGHT you are thinking.

Let me repeat that. Every ACTION is because of a FEELING and every FEELING is because of a THOUGHT you are thinking.

It’s important to watch our thoughts because they:

Can send us down a rabbit hole
Can send us into the darkest realm of our mind
Can cause us anxiety
Can cause us to respond to things in a not so nice manner

What we put out to the universe, we get back because THOUGHTS BECOME THINGS! That’s right, manifestation right here. Negative attracts negative, positive attracts positive. Don’t believe me? Reflect on a “bad day”. It all starts when you miss your alarm and it all spirals from there. Chances are you, you are thinking “OMG! Can this day be over already? I just can’t win?” And more bad things keep happening. Now, reflect on a day when your mind was vibrating in a positive light and something goes wrong. You probably shrugged it off and said “It’s ok, I will get through it. It’s just something that happens” and you move on. This time, there is no bad stuff happening because you stopped it in its tracks. I originally discussed this specific example in a prior post Having A Bad Day?

So, what can you do to shift your mindset? First, it starts with awareness. Without awareness of what is, it is next to impossible to identify where the change needs to happen.

Finding awareness includes looking at your beliefs. A belief is an acceptance that a statement is true or that something exists. It can also be referred to as an agreement. Something that was presented to you and you agreed to it or accepted it.

Your subconscious is fueled by your beliefs. Your subconscious mind actually creates your reality. Remember, thoughts become things. This has been proven with Quantum Physics. If you have a negative belief about something, then that negative belief will manifest through your subconscious and become your reality.

So how do we go about impregnating our subconscious with the thoughts and images that you WANT because THAT is what will show up in the physical reality of what is called YOUR LIFE?

Your subconscious mind is READY to receive when your conscious mind is not active. So right before you wake up or right before you fall asleep, that’s when you want to upload or install into your subconscious mind. Our subconscious just records what we put in and then plays back out into our life. So anything you DON’T want that may have been recorded, say when you were a child, is just in there playing back on a loop and hasn’t been taken out and replaced with a new belief.

The next step in shifting your mindset is recognizing your achievements. List out ALL of your achievements, yes, even those little wins because no matter how little, they still brought you that feeling of WINNING!

Next comes gratitude. Having a daily gratitude practice is probably the most important contributor to changing your mindset. Gratitude does not have to just be about the big things in your life. Actually, you should recognize all of the little things throughout your day because it keeps you in heightened awareness and resonating at a higher level within the Universe, which helps fuel the Law of Attraction. (Are you seeing a theme here?)

Now it’s time to talk about affirmations and mantras. I am going to tell you a secret…these only work if you BELIEVE them. Just saying them with zero emotion or feeling attached to them and “going through the motions” is an absolute waste of time. You may as well not even bother. BUT…if you are seeking a FEELING and can tie an affirmation or mantra to it…THAT is gold and when the magic starts to happen and the beliefs that no longer serve you will be replaced.

Finally, changing your mindset will not happen overnight. It takes consistency and practice every single moment of the day. It takes work but the result is so worth it!

I challenge you to sit down and examine your thoughts and beliefs. Make a list of those that no longer serve you and start the process of letting them go. It takes courage to look within ourselves and make a decision to change. Just remember, if you want something, you have to work for it and this is no different. I believe in you.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. If you would like to dig deeper, click here to schedule a free 30-minute breakthrough call with me and let’s get started.

Not ready to take the plunge but want to be inspired, click here to join my free Facebook group Women Taking Action for Change.

September 2, 2019September 2, 2019

A Master Chef Lesson

I was struck so deeply last night by a realization while watching Master Chef Challenge Season 10. Hubby and I have been following it most of the season. We were rooting for a very young contestant, Micah, who was only 19 years old. From the very first episode when he received his apron from Chef Ramsey, he was so grateful and so humbled. Why? Because Chef Ramsey said he BELIEVED in him. This kid was competing on this show all alone. No family, no friends, and he gave up everything to be there. Fast forward to the Family Reunion episode. The contestants’ family members were invited to come and support their loved ones in the competition. Micah had no one. As they were introducing the various family members, the camera kept panning over to Micah, and the look on his face every time was just heartbreaking.

As the competition went on, you could see Micah’s confidence deteriorating. When it was time to present the dish, he was the last one chosen. The entire time you could see the deflated, defeated look on his face. I knew right then that he had given up. He stopped trying and succumbed to his lonely realization of not having anyone to support him. This sealed his fate.

When he was asked to remove his apron, he lost it. He told the judges how grateful he was for the journey and how much he had learned. He also said that he gained so much more from the experience because his whole family told him they did not support him. His mom told him he would fall flat on his face and she would not be there to pick him up. But the support from the judges and the other constants was heartfelt and appreciated. What an awful thing to say to your son! Then, Chef Ramsey did what he does when he wants to be amazing. He told Micah that after the show he would work with him and help him achieve any dreams he had. Micah thanked him and said it would be an honor. It was at that point, his face started to light back up.

Why do I feel compelled to talk about a TV show? There are a couple of notable things going on here. First and foremost, belief. Sometimes it is difficult to push through when it is just you and nobody else rooting for you to win. It makes it so much harder to stay focused and positive. Think about it as an adult and then rewind to your childhood. Imagine how devastating it would be to hear such awful things from your mother. The processing is very different and extremely damaging.

Two other notable things are going on here. Realizing and working toward a dream and not giving up. These two go hand in hand. Micah had a dream and he did everything he could to make it come true. He didn’t give up. Even when I thought he did, he came back around and realized he wasn’t in it alone. He had Chef Ramsey in his corner! He also had all of the viewers in his corner, rooting for him. Believing in him and his dream.

I have been in Micah’s shoes. Everything I did growing up and throughout most of my adult life, I looked for my mother’s support. Hell, I would have settled for ANY form of acknowledgment and encouragement, but I never once got it. The only thing I got from her was jealousy and hatred. If it wasn’t for my dad and the rest of my family and friends, my outcome would have been a lot different.

So, are you finding yourself alone in your corner when it comes to your dreams? Do you have the support you need from your loved ones? If not, I highly recommend you reach out to someone. Find a mentor, a coach, or just a loving, supportive ear to bounce your thoughts and experiences off of. We all need someone to help us celebrate our wins! And if you are having trouble finding someone, talk to me! I already believe in you so we are halfway there. You just have to raise your hand.

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019

Let’s Talk Money

I have been doing a TON of personal work around money, so I will be spending a few posts around this topic. I (like many of you) desire more money, but part of my work is defining “why”. The process has not been easy because it taps into the personal relationship I have with money, which starts way back to when I was very young. It starts with how I was educated and the stories I was told about money, which later became deep rooted beliefs. My parents divorced when I was five, so I had two COMPLETELY different exposures to money, although, I was with my mom full time until the middle of 8th grade, so her relationship with money impacted me the most.