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December 23, 2020December 23, 2020

Why New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

We are coming out of one of the most difficult years our world has seen in quite some time.

All of the uncertainty and change has created a state of unrest and massive fear.

And this will be the PERFECT time to start thinking “I am going to change XYZ starting January 1”!

Yep, that New Year’s Resolution.

But let me ask you, what happened on January 1, 2020?

What “resolution” did you make?

How did it work out for you?

I bet it didn’t and I bet you are saying “It didn’t work for 2020 because of XYZ (pandemic, election, etc.) but 2021 is MY YEAR!”

Immediately, you looked at something outside of you to blame.

But did you actually change what was going on on the INSIDE?

I have never been one for “resolutions”.

They rank up there with “diets” and I believe setting you up right away for failure because of the stigma just around the words themselves.

Generally, people make resolutions like “I am going to lose 50 lbs”, or “I am going to eat healthily”, or “I am going to work out every day”.

And then, January 1 hits, and you are off and running, pushing yourself toward the idea of what you think you want, and then by mid-February, give up because you are so overwhelmed with the sudden changes that you don’t believe you will ever make it.

This same process occurs when we try to make other lifestyle changes and pool them into the “resolutions” category.

So now, let’s look at the definition of “resolution”. It means “a firm decision to do or not to do something”.

That’s it.

When we make resolutions, we have every intention of doing whatever it is, but we don’t have a plan.

We don’t usually have systems set up to help us succeed so, we quit and inevitably, fail.

There is also an “all or nothing” attachment to whatever that something is.

Intention, on the other hand, is “a thing intended; an aim or plan” and a goal is “the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result” and goal setting “involves the development of an action plan designed to motivate and guide a person or group toward a goal”.

Intention and goal setting go hand in hand. It is the expansion of a resolution because we actually can take action by implementing small steps that are mapped out in a plan.

And because the plan involves steps, you need to be specific.

So, instead of making a resolution of “I am going to lose weight”, make an intention of “I am going to lose 20 pounds this year and I am going to get there by taking these steps….” and actually WRITE out your plan, break it down into daily manageable steps.

As you accomplish each step, you check it off the list and receive instant gratification and a feeling of accomplishment. Then you do the same thing the next day.

Now, take it one step further.

Think about how you want to FEEL if you accomplish this goal.

THAT is the true magic behind the success. We aren’t seeking the outcome, we are seeking how we want to FEEL about the outcome. How do you feel when you are 20 pounds lighter?

Do you feel healthier, happier, more comfortable in your body?

Do you feel sexy and confident?

That is what you are really after!

Lastly, if you fall down, and you will, brush yourself off and try again.

There is no “all or nothing” when you are working toward a goal.

When you fall, reflect on what happened to make you fall.

What can you do differently the next time?

This is all part of the journey. And this is where you will grow.

You will be able to set intentions and make a plan to get you there.

Notice I did not say “fail”.

To fail means to “be unsuccessful in achieving one’s goal”.

If you are constantly working, falling, getting back up, and starting again, this is not failing in my eyes.

As long as you don’t give up, you won’t fail.

I challenge you to sit down and look at the things in your life you want to achieve.

Weightloss, conquering your debt, or any behavior you would like to change.

Pick the top, most important item on that list and decide how you are going to get there.

Map out your plan, set your intentions, and start!

Actually, LIST out each step and if you will need help, where will you find that help.

Don’t try and do more than one step at a time.

Once you have completed or mastered the first step, then move to the second step and so on until your goal is reached.

Then, move on to the next thing you want to accomplish on your list, rinse, and repeat.

Taking it one step at a time means progress so don’t try and overwhelm yourself trying to do it all at once.

Any lasting changes, behaviors, and habits you are trying to accomplish take time and practice.

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

This is a time of awareness and self-discovery.

This is a time of success, celebrating each small victory along the way.

This is how you create lasting results.

If you are ready to go deeper and ready to go into 2021 with an ACTION PLAN and doing the INSIDE work to make lasting change, I have the perfect program for you.

My 6-Week Mindset Detox program is here for you.

A small group of ladies coming together to inspire and support each other while doing a MASSIVE mindset detox.

We will be tackling all of the things that are taking up space in your life that need to be purged so that there is space for new, wonderful things to come in.

We will also be tackling all of those fears that impede progress as well as how to eliminate self-sabotage and procrastination by creating lasting, positive habits.

If this is something that interests you, contact me ASAP because there are only 10 spots and space is filling fast!

If you simply want more information, contact me!

June 23, 2020June 23, 2020

Choosing Your Tribe

Do you have a dream or a goal you are shooting to achieve?

Are you SOOO excited because achieving that dream or goal could LITERALLY change your life?

Do you have people around you that are excited for you and supportive of you, NO MATTER WHAT?

How about that same support for everything you do?

Is your spouse supportive of your efforts? How about your parents?

As much as I would like to say yes, that is the case for most of us, it, unfortunately, is not.

When we launch something big or even do something that WE want to do that falls outside of the expectations of our loved ones, we generally do not have the support of those closest to us.

Why is that?

Well, if you are embarking on something so big that will not only change YOUR life but theirs as well, they may experience fear. And we all know how fear can dictate EVERYTHING!

There could also be a lack of understanding. If you have kept a dream or goal to yourself, like starting a business, and then suddenly come home and announce that you are quitting your job and going all-in on your business, it can be quite alarming to your family.

Especially if they depend on your stable income. This could be a shock and with no other conversation around it, it can cause some issues.

We have all types of relationships in our lives that influence our decisions.

I have talked to so many women that are not even TRYING to shoot for their dreams because of what the family, husband, or friends might think.

I also have talked to women that have tried and given up because they did not have the support they needed.

It is so important to have support because change is hard.

Part of this change is learning how to set boundaries.

Mel Robbins said:

“Boundaries are the courage you need to put yourself 1st. They are the fence around the yard called your life.”

She also said (and I LOVE this one):

“Boundaries are the no trespassing sign between where you end and someone else begins. They make you treat people how you want to be treated.”

Take a look at your “tribe”. The people you spend the most time with. Are these people supportive of you? Do they encourage you?

Or do they break you down and make you feel bad? Do they discourage you from going after your dreams?

Seriously, take a look because you will only be as good as those you surround yourself with.

If you are wanting to go after a dream or achieve a goal and nobody supports you, the chances of you succeeding are slim to none.

You are worth more than that so it’s time to thin the herd.

Now, I am not saying that you need to get a divorce or cut all of your friends and family out of your life.

As long as these folks aren’t toxic, then they can stay. You just should not turn to them for support.

Set your boundaries. Set them for yourself so that you won’t have any expectations from these folks. If they get on board, cool. If not, move past it.

Set boundaries so that they do not badmouth you or your dream. Don’t allow them to tear you down.

Remember, when you are trying to do something “out of the box”, non-traditional, or something different, the people closest to you are afraid for you.

They are afraid of your failure.

And they are afraid of your success.

So one of my experiences is (and you can probably identify with this) were my several network marketing endeavors.

I have been with a handful of companies. It was NEVER easy for me because my family was always poor and didn’t believe in any alternative ways to make money other than working. Sometimes working more than one job.

When I discovered network marketing, I thought I had hit gold as we all do. The problem was, I didn’t have enough belief in myself that I could actually be successful so I would quit.

I would look to my family and then eventually friends for support but only got negative judgment and no support at all. So I would quit.

I would go back to working more than one job.

And the next opportunity would show up and off I would run excited right back into the same non-supporting environment.

I REALLY wanted to be financially free and have time freedom.

And I REALLY wanted to help people.

But I couldn’t get out of my own way.

My dream was not bigger than the people I depended on and their opinions.

Fast forward to now…I decided I needed to take this journey to become a Transformation Success Coach.

Now was the time.

I had the full support of my husband, but, it is still difficult because he doesn’t quite get it.

But he is learning and he is trying.

My friends have been 100% supportive.

My older generation family members are still not quite sure what I do and how I can make a living at it because, well, we will just chalk it up to the “old school” mentality.

So what’s different now?

My friend base has changed a bit.

I no longer surround myself with those that were not supportive and only gave me negative judgment.

I realized it wasn’t just about what my dream was, they were like that no matter what was going on.

People who love you get REALLY uncomfortable with change and growth because they may not be ready to walk alongside you.

And that’s ok!

It has nothing to do with me so I now limit my exposure.

I don’t talk too much about what I do around my family.

If they ask, I give them a brief update.

If they start spinning off onto a tangent of negativity or misunderstanding, I don’t waste energy explaining.

I just politely say this is what I am doing, I love, and I am good at it.

That usually ends the conversation…until the next time and I say it all again.

I am now connecting with like-minded women.

Due to the amazing ability of connection through social media platforms, I am able to connect and support and receive support from women who are just like me.

In return, we lift each other up and encourage each other on our journeys.

Doing these things has really helped my mindset and the belief I have in myself.

I encourage you to take a look at your tribe.

See who fits and who doesn’t and start surrounding yourself with those who support your dreams.

Find mentors or a community of like-minded people who will inspire you, encourage you, hold you accountable, and challenge you.

If you are the smartest person in the room, you need a new tribe.

If you are the most positive person in the room, you need a new tribe.

If you are reaching for big dreams and working on goals to get there and your circle is content with mediocrity and comfort, you need a new tribe.

I am here to help!

If you are ready to take the steps to grow, learn, strive, and thrive, contact me!

I have a new program specifically for ladies wanting to start or grow their own businesses and who are ready to LAUNCH where we work on mindset mastery and actionable strategies without all of the fancy websites, followings, and click funnels.

I also still have my program for ladies who want to grow and step into their power of financial, spiritual, and emotional strength but may not be looking at the business aspect.

Either way, I have a solution for you!

Don’t let the investment in yourself be a hindrance to your success!

But you have to contact me so that we can look at where you are and find a solution to get you to where you want to be. Click on my calendar link and let’s get started!

http://bit.ly/TiffenysBreakthroughCall

June 10, 2020June 10, 2020

Turning Dreams into Goals

We all have dreams right?

To have a lasting, loving relationship.

To start a business.

To have a satisfying career.

To have absolute health and wellness.

To be wealthy.

To own a home.

To own your dream car.

These are some dreams that many of us have.

So what exactly is a dream?

I personally love this definition: a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal.

But, let’s take a little bit deeper.

When we talk about a dream, there is an underlying feeling attached to that dream.

Usually, it is a feeling we are trying to achieve.

Feelings of stability, freedom, and accomplishment are all feelings that are the most common when we talk about dreams.

Now let’s talk about goals.

A goal is a person’s ambition or effort, an aim or desired result.

Another way to say this is a goal is a dream in ACTION.

So now think about a dream you have.

Is this dream something that you can turn into a goal?

Can you create an action plan of steps to start making this dream a reality?

What would it take to get you there?

I know when I had this dream of being my own boss and being able to help others, I had no idea what it would look like.

I started to ruminate on all of the possibilities of what I could do professionally that would get me to where I wanted to be.

All the time, I was always “coaching” people in their relationships, careers, and life in general, but I didn’t know that being a coach was an actual thing I could do.

I looked into becoming a teacher, a therapist, a guidance counselor, and even looked into various HR type positions.

All of these were definitely doable but I was not prepared to take on any more student loans to get the education I needed.

So I kept searching.

Finally, the idea of being a coach hit me like a ton of bricks so I started investigating.

I looked at what would be required and found that certification was not required so I wouldn’t have to invest a ton of money upfront before I could get started.

So I went to work on my action plan.

The very first thing on my list: hire my own coach so that I could experience it from the other side and also work on my own shit in the process.

From there I listed out the rest of what I needed to just get started.

It was a simple list of things that were cost-effective and attainable actions I could take.

They were small, attainable goals so that I could keep from feeling overwhelmed.

I committed to 2 hours per day to work toward my main goal.

By the end of my coaching package, I had made the decision that I was going to LAUNCH and I did exactly that just a few short months later.

I was officially operating my very own coaching practice!

Was it perfect?

NO!

And it still isn’t.

Because I am still learning and working toward my goals which means things change, including ME.

You see, a dream is just a dream.

Hoping and wishing it to happen is not going to make it happen.

The ONLY way to make your dream your reality is to take ACTION.

And, you can have ANYTHING you desire.

Does it take work?

Sure it does!

But here is the secret:

Decide now what it is that you want to do, commit to yourself and that goal, and show up and do the work to get there.

You are worth every bit of it!

So now, I want to give you some tips on how to set goals and actually achieve them!

So you have this dream, right?

And you are ready to take action to achieve it, but where do you start?

First, start brainstorming. If you are wanting to start a business, brainstorm all of the things that you like or love to do.

Then research what of those things can you actually make money doing? Find people in that industry. Connect with a community that can support you and can provide some guidance.

The next thing you need to do is list out the things that are REQUIRED for you to get started and the things that can wait. You need to focus on the required items first. Again, this will take some research.

Reach out to your community to gain some insight.

Now, these items sometimes have sub-categories or tasks that need to happen in order to complete said item on your list. This is where I pick ONE of the required items and break out each sub-task and then SCHEDULE IT into my calendar. Try not to do more than 3 per day and ONLY focus on these items. This will keep you focused and moving forward one step at a time.

The more you time block, the more you have control over your progress and success of completion. Pretty soon, you will notice that your results of completion have elevated you to a feeling of accomplishment and success!

So let me ask you, now that I have simplified the process, do you think you can get started moving forward turning your dreams into goals?

If you need support in your efforts, let me know! I would love to talk to you more about where you are and where you want to be! I am currently looking to help ladies new to the entrepreneur arena. If this is you and you are ready to launch and grow, book a free 30-minute call with me here: http://bit.ly/TiffenysBreakthroughCall

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019

Let’s Talk Money 2

In my previous post, I mentioned “why” I desire more money in my life. I feel like I need to give you a bit of history as to how my “why” came to be. It starts back to when I was young. Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. In fact, we were poor. My mother and her beliefs around money inhibited any money coming her way, which, in turn, inhibited it coming my way. When my parents divorced, my brother and I lived full time with our mother, seeing our dad every other weekend. There was a constant battle about her needing the “child support right now” and making me call my dad for it (back then there wasn’t an organized agency that took care of all of that stuff). This was my first real experience with not having money and the difficulty that surrounded getting it.

February 10, 2019February 10, 2019

Let’s Talk Money

I have been doing a TON of personal work around money, so I will be spending a few posts around this topic. I (like many of you) desire more money, but part of my work is defining “why”. The process has not been easy because it taps into the personal relationship I have with money, which starts way back to when I was very young. It starts with how I was educated and the stories I was told about money, which later became deep rooted beliefs. My parents divorced when I was five, so I had two COMPLETELY different exposures to money, although, I was with my mom full time until the middle of 8th grade, so her relationship with money impacted me the most.

January 22, 2019February 10, 2019

Welcome!

I am so excited to finally be able to share with all of you! Writing has always been a passion of mine. Helping people another one. I have discovered that blogging is the best way for me to tap into both passions at the same time. I believe that everyone deserves to live their best life and I want to use this blog to inspire and encourage you to do just that. Enjoy and please share with EVERYONE!