October, 2019 |

We as humans seem to intentionally or unintentionally hurt each other all the time. I am not strictly talking about physical pain, but emotional pain as well. The way we speak to each other, the way we treat each other, and the way we ignore and neglect each other are ways we inflict this pain. Unfortunately, this pain is part of life. Everyone experiences pain. It’s inevitable. Along with pain, generally, comes suffering. Suffer, the root of suffering is defined by Miriam Webster as:

to submit to or be forced to endure
to feel keenly
labor under
undergo, experience
to put up with especially as inevitable or unavoidable
to allow especially by reason of indifference

Here’s something you may not know…pain is part of life. Pain comes from events or experiences that may not be in our control. Pain is inevitable. Suffering, on the other hand, is a choice. Yes, I said it. Suffering is a CHOICE!

I know some of you may be hating on me right now and ready to throw whatever you are reading this on across the room, but hold on. Let’s talk about someone you love who passes away. That is something COMPLETELY out of your control. And along with that, comes great pain. That is part of the process, a part of life. Now, it has been months down the road and you are wallowing in your self-pity and you start to experience anxiety and depression. You start to lash out at your loved ones. You just can’t seem to get past the pain. You are consumed all the time by memories, which keep triggering this roller coaster of emotion. THAT is suffering. You are choosing to hold onto that pain. You are maybe doing it to satisfy a need. A need to feel connected, to feel loved, to feel important. Can you see how this works?

I am not saying you shouldn’t grieve or feel the pain. In fact, I think you should very much sit with the pain and let it flow through you. Find an outlet like a journal, a therapist, a coach, or a good friend to help you through the pain so that you can release it. You are not a martyr by holding onto it and please do not use it to manipulate others to get what you need. I am not, for one minute, suggesting that you let go of the memories. What you need to let go of is the suffering that you are creating around those memories. You should really take a look at how you are reacting when those memories surface. Memories are blessings. They are gifts and should not be associated with suffering. Cry it out! Yell it out! Do whatever action that helps you to move past it. Don’t crawl into it. Don’t let it consume you. If you are at this point, you need help to work past it so do yourself a favor and reach out! Suffering does not have to be a part of the grief!

Now, let’s look at the rest of your life. If you are choosing to suffer, you are not living. How are your interactions with your kids and your spouse? How is your interaction with the people you work with? Are you showing up every day? Are you out in the world, contributing and making a difference? If not, you are missing out. You are not living. So ask yourself, what do I need to do to get my life back and get out of the suffering and into the living? You are worth so much more than suffering in the pain. The pain will start to ease, so start today to take that step and move into the living. I am here to help and I believe in you!

Have you ever wanted something so badly, but could never make it a reality? Have you wanted to improve your quality of life but can’t seem to get there? Do you give up on yourself because you seem to try and try, but can’t get it done? You are not alone. Many people struggle every day with creating the life they desire. And then there are those who are “lucky” and seem to be able to achieve everything they go after. What the heck is the big secret?

Well, there are a few things going on for these “lucky” folk. First and foremost, it is desire. The desire is so great, that they don’t let anything or anyone get in the way of what they want. Second, these people can envision already having whatever it is they desire. Once they make the decision, they immediately switch to the mindset of “I am” or “I have”. Lastly, they come from a place of “abundance” or already having everything they need.

So let’s talk desire for a moment. How BAD do want whatever it is? Does it consume your thoughts? Are your loved ones tired of hearing you talk about it? Are you daydreaming about how you feel, as though you already have it? My guess is, no. Or else you would have it! But did you catch that? Did you catch the key to the desire? If not, that’s ok. Ima tell ya!

It’s FEELING! That’s right, there are certain feelings that go hand in hand with our desires. When you think about something you want, how are you feeling about it? Are you thinking “there is no way I can have it so I may as well give up”? If so, how does that resonate within your body? Tension, stress, sadness, anger? Or do you think “I am so frickin’ excited that I have this and am going somewhere”? How do you feel now? Happiness, joy, excitement?

Our subconscious already knows that it can be a reality and as you may or may not know, those tapes from our past play over and over and our egos take over to decide what the outcome will be. You have to put that ego in check and let your subconscious go to work! Have you heard the term “thoughts become things”? This is the key to the next part. Visualizing that you already have whatever it is you desire. If you allow your ego to paint the picture, it will continually paint everything you DON’T want. This is a defense mechanism to keep you “safe” and protected from change and growth. When you let your subconscious take the lead, all of a sudden you are elated and daydreaming and feeling all of your desires coming to life. It is almost impossible to think of this in any other way other than the present tense. It has ALREADY HAPPENED because it has. You just need to open up and get ready to receive it. Now, when you think or talk about your desires, use the language “I am” and “I have”.

Now let’s talk about this thing called abundance. Coming from a place of lack is the demise to you not achieving everything you desire. When you are 100% focused on things you DON’T have, the less you WILL have. Again, it’s that Law of Attraction thing! Instead of the thought process “That costs too much money and I will never be able to afford that” or “I am always poor and will never have enough money”, turn it around. Create a different thought process around money. “I have everything I need and money flows to me freely” or “I am in abundance and only attracting more”.

When we change our thoughts, we change everything about our state of being. Thoughts become things so if you are constantly in negative thought mode, only negative will come to you. My husband is very skilled as one of the “lucky” ones. When he makes a decision that he wants something, he immediately starts visualizing that he already has it. He starts making plans. He talks about it as if it is already in his possession. He doesn’t focus on how much it costs and how much more he needs to “save” or acquire to make it happen. It has already happened and he is in the mode of being fully open and receiving. Some of our friends and family are baffled by his “luck”, but as you can see, it’s not luck at all. It’s how we think about things.

I challenge you to give it a whirl. Sure, it takes practice. I practice every day, but it’s possible to make it happen. I would love to hear about your experiences so reach out and let me know how it’s going! And remember, I believe in you!

Month: October 2019

Surviving the Pain

Manifesting Your Desires